A right royal idea

The much loved Queen of the Kingdom of the Netherlands has announced that she will hand over the reins to the reign on April 30th. That is Queen's Day, already the biggest, most anticipated annual celebration in the Lowlands.  Hold on to your hat - or your crown - it is going to be one serious national party this year.

In the meantime, Queen Beatrix has given me an idea. I'm thinking I might abdicate too. I don't want to be in charge anymore. Someone else can do it.

Imagine; no more debating the merits of financial aid to struggling child nations as they battle to fund another electronic game. Someone else could deal with it.

No more smiling and waving through tumultuous family battles about the nation's education policies. Homework and academic grades would no longer be my concern.

No more protracted diplomatic missions to negotiate anything from an overdue hair cut for one of the princes, to a washing up roster, now that the royal dishwasher is on the blink. My successor would have to sort it all out without me.

No more defending the realm against foreign invaders. Actually, come to think about it, we've really enjoyed our foreign invaders this past year, so we might allow that influx to continue.

No need to put up with the destabilising political antics of young wannabe usurpers to the family crown. They can have it.

But who to abdicate to? Grote Jongen would appear to have a hereditary entitlement to the position but I fear he is not yet up to the job. When his father, Ned Nederlander, ventured the suggestion this evening that we might do some right royal family camping in spring, Grote Jongen looked disdainfully at him and said "Nah, you and Mum go. Just leave us a big packet of pasta. We'll be right". However he regained some of my confidence this evening when, on bidding him goodnight, I shared the idea of my possible abdication with him.  He immediately sat up and said excitedly, "Well when I'm King of the family, I will immediately ban housework Mum". I was momentarily thrilled until I realised he was referring to "huiswerk", the Dutch word for school homework. His hastily added "No, no, listen: housework AND huiswerk will both be banned, and punishable by death" did little to reassure me.



Kleine Jongen making an earlier claim for sovereignty

Kleine Jongen, on hearing my plans, simply said "Yeah, well I'm already the boss of this family." Typical youngest child.

Meanwhile, in the House of Orange, Prince Willem-Alexander, soon to be King Will-Al will be the first bloke to be in charge here in the Lowlands for over a century.  His mother, grandmother and great grandmother have all added a highly successful feminine regal touch during the past century. Even his great-great grandmother had a go at the job for a while, holding the royal fort for a couple of years following the death of her husband King William, and prior to the coming of age of their daughter. Will-Al will have his work cut out for him following such a string of compassionate, intelligent, strong-willed women. Fortunately he has a fabulously compassionate, intelligent, strong-willed partner, not to mention three daughters, to help him adjust to his new role.

The same gender blip would apply in my family should either of De Jongens take over after decades of female rule.  Heaven knows my maternal grandmother, Queen Kathleen, was undeniably the ruler of her Mossman Street palace, wielding a wooden sceptre like nobody's business. Come to think of it, I believe it was a wooden spoon, but then again I also recall her wielding plates of scones with lashings of cream and homemade jam too. And hugs.

Kathleen's daughter, my own mother, was also not one for letting her prince tell her how things should be done, although she was known to call on him when she felt that some form of king-sized discipline needed to be dispatched. Threats of "Wait til thy royal father gets home" generally restored order to our familial palace fairly quickly during times of unrest. But through it she taught me the importance of ruling with your heart as well as your head. And on the whole, my father expertly played the good-humoured, supportive royal consort, winning the hearts and minds of all in the realm at the same time.

I cannot possibly comment on my own approach to managing my kingdom. But I will admit that as the eldest daughter, and with some formidable maternal forebears, it's possible that I am living proof that apples don't fall far from the tree.  Or if I might be so bold, jewels don't drop far from the crown . . . ?

Strong women rule!

Queen Beatrix's abdication has surprised few. It's Dutch pragmatism, palace style. In her speech this evening announcing her decision to down the crown, she reassured the nation that her son had undergone intense preparation for the role, and that he was more than ready to take it on.  Interestingly, she also pointed out that she thought his wife was good to go too.

That's more than you can say for me and my likely successors, so ever the control freak, I have decided that my loyal subjects need me in charge for a little longer. This Dutchess is unceremoniously withdrawing her notice of intention to abdicate.